As you lay beside me sleeping I cannot help myself to just stare. I should be sleeping as well, I haven’t been feeling well today. But there are so many things to do still but the list can wait. I smell your soap on your skin and hair from last night’s bath and cannot help but smile just remembering. The laughs that echoed on the tiles as you played in the bath water splashing your father. I feel your warm little body next to mine and I curl up closer. I want the moment to stay.
This is mommy’s happy hour.
When all is quiet in the house. Even the cats are asleep. I should know – two are asleep at my feet. I stare. I remember. I think. And I whisper over and over in my mind “I love you”.
I remember when we brought you home how tiny and frail you seemed. That when you slept you were all curled up like you were still inside of me. Now, you sleep like a starfish, legs and arms spread out. I remember the first time I caught you giggling and smiling in your sleep and how hard it was to not start giggling alongside you. Just because it was that cute. It still is. It makes me wonder do babies dream? And if so, what do they dream about?
Almost 17 months later, I think I may have an idea of what babies dream of. Especially at your age. The adventures you will have, the places you will go and the things that you will do. Your imagination has no limits. I may not understand why you like to put the couch cushions and throw pillows on the floor. But it is part of your adventure.
I enjoy mommy’s happy hour. It is when all seems right in this world. At least for a moment. I do not know why you must fight these naps but you will understand when you are older, if you have children of your own, why naps are so wonderful. Because it is mommy’s happy hour to just relax, remember, and marvel at life. When we are adults we tend to forget to stop and marvel at the little things in life. Do not loose it too soon my little pumpkin. Do not grow up too fast. Let me enjoy this little moment for it shall not last.